Accepting your illness

The first step of getting better is accepting your illness.  It doesn't mean you cant be mad about being sick.  It doesn't mean you have to be happy about being sick.  It simply means that you accept what you have been given.

Instead of fighting your body you have to learn to live with it.  Yes, you will have limits but that doesn't mean your life is over.  In fact, you might find that your limits in one area increases what you do in another area.  I can tell you from my own experience it is hard to accept that you can't do what you use to do.  Yet, now I have more time to spread awareness and help find a cure.

I have days where I get mad because I cant do something that I did before.  My hardest thing is being dependent on people for a lot of tasks that I use to do myself.  The fact I cant leave my house unless someone drives me actually drives me insane.  Yet, I have realized that I can leave my situation by watching TV or reading.  I am catapulted away to somewhere different than where I am actually at.  My escape is now all mentally produced but it does help a little bit with the driving issue.

There are days I get mad because I see someone eating something that I am craving.  Knowing deep down if I even took one bite I would pay for days.  So I have learned to enjoy what I do get to eat. When someone is eating something I am craving i just imagine what I am eating is the same thing.  Amazing how you can let your mind wonder and create your own space.

So yes accepting your illness is very hard.  You have to learn that it isn't your fault.  You didn't do this to yourself.  Most chronic illnesses are caused by something you cannot control.  The two that bother me most are both idiopathic.  No one knows what caused it and all I have to do is to learn to accept it.  When I fight it I come to realize that it is harder for me to deal with and a lot of times I get sicker because I am worrying about it.  So I have decided just to live within the limits and know that one day they might figure it all out until then I will keep on keeping on.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve.