Changing i can't to I CAN

It is easy when you do not feel well to think about all the things that i can't do anymore.  I could spend my entire day concentrating on the negative side of life.  I could concentrate on all the things that I did before.  I could stress over the things I wished I could do.  Yet, who does that help.  It sure doesn't help me make it through the day.  It also runs away people that might like to be around me.  So today practice turning i can't into I CAN.

I CAN think.  I have the ability to think through the fog and do some of the things that I love.  I CAN imagine and read books.  I have the mind to be set free from my negativity.  I CAN have the brain and willpower to make it through this day.

I CAN live.  I was blessed with waking up this morning.  Doesn't mean it is a perfect day, but I CAN breathe.  I CAN go into today with a positive outlook.  Those are the things that I CAN choose today to help me make it one more day.

I CAN dream.  This is one of those things that no one can take away from me.  It doesn't matter if I am awake or asleep I CAN dream of the day when cures are found.  I CAN dream of days when peace conquers all.  I CAN dream of a day when there is no sickness or war.  This is something that I have been given because I choose not to allow the part of me that wants to dwell on the sad side of things to win.

I CAN motivate and inspire people.  There isn't a day that someone doesn't tell me that they look up to me for what I am doing.  They know how bad I feel, yet they see that I just will not throw in the towel.  No matter what I CAN be the person that shows that you do not have to crawl in a hole when you are sick and give up.

Lastly, I CAN be a great Fighter.  I Can bring awareness to illnesses that most people don't know about.  I CAN use every last bit of my energy and strength to ensure that everyone understands how wonderful they are.  I CAN teach by example if today only one person learns how to start fighting instead of giving up.  I HAVE WON.

Yes, it is hard sometimes to think this way.  i can't is very easy to fall into because there are so many things that change when you get sick.  Yet, I CAN is also easy to fall into when you give it your all.  My best doesn't mean that it is better than others.  Yet, I know I gave it what I could give it that day.  Tomorrow might not be as good, yet I CAN hope that it will be better.  As long as you look for the silver lining you will be blessed.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve. 

Preparing for the Day of Dread..or..what most people call Thanksgiving Day

It is time to tackle the one holiday that is most dreaded for those who have chronic illnesses Thanksgiving Day.  The day when you get together we all those people in your life that really don't understand what your going through.  There are those that just wished you would try a little harder. Then those that think you are faking it.  Then there are those others that think you have brought it on yourself so you need to learn to live with it.  The last group is the most important those that understand and support you.

Thanksgiving is about sharing love and being thankful for what you have no matter what cards life has dealt you.  There are some simple steps to take before the big day to ensure you can make it through it.

1. Pack what you can eat or drink to take with you.
2. Take someone that supports you to the event.
3. Let the Host or Hostess know that you will be bringing your own nutrients and it has nothing to do with what they are cooking.
4. Suggest that everyone say thanks for something that they are thankful for.  When it comes your turn say thanks for just being with your friends and family.
5. Don't get mad at yourself if you cant have something that others are having.  
6. Set a time that you will plan on leaving so that you don't get too tired.
7. Most importantly if you wake up on the big day and feel like you just cant do it call and admit you are having a bad day.  Yet, you will get with them another day when you are feeling better.

See what it takes is getting your mind wrapped around the fact that it isn't your fault that you are sick.  Your body did this on its own and you cant miraculous feel better on a magical day.  Enjoy everyday of life that you feel good.  On the ones that you feel bad let your body rest.  

Those that don't understand well don't worry about them.  These are the people that don't matter in the big scheme of things.  The people that understand you are the ones that you should spend your energy on.  If people cannot understand what is going on you have to understand that a lot of that has to do with their own fear.  If they have seen you slowly go downhill then they may see themselves in your reflection.  Their aches and pains may make them wonder if they will end up like you.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve. 

Ever Feel Like Giving Up?

If the answer to the question above is no then woohoo.  Yet, I would bet that most of you know that feeling quite well.  I know that there are times in my life that I have gone through several weeks at a time going I don't want to fight anymore.  Then all of a sudden the giant flare subsides and I think okay maybe I can get through this.  That is until the next flare hits and I am ready to toss in the towel.

Most people with one chronic illness also have the blessing of having more than one effecting you and knocking you down in a different direction.  I am blessed with several the two with the most impact today are the Menieres and the Gastroparesis.  That doesn't mean that the other 5 don't flare up and put me through their own struggles.  Yet, Menieres and Gastroparesis have away of playing against each other in such a way that I fight one or both daily.  Okay honestly hourly would be more like the fighting schedule but who is counting.  

Here is what I have learned giving up is not an option.  I can't throw in the towel because of what it would do for those around me that support me each day.  Believe it or not you are someones hero. I never thought of myself as anything more than someone that was sick.  Someone that was dealt the short stick.  I have been mad and a times wanted to just get it over with.  Then all of a sudden out of the blue someone will walk up to me and tell me that I am their inspiration.  the first time that I happened I thought you got to be kidding.  You better go pick someone else because this beat up body and worth someone being inspired by it.

The I came to realize that people that saw me each day knew what I was going through.  They saw me fighting with all I could to keep having as much a normal life as I could.  I have days that getting out of bed is my biggest accomplishment.  Yet, I did it.  Other days watching TV and talking to my friends occurs.  then other days I go outside and visit with people especially my supporters.

The amount of my supporters has grown over time.  See supporters are there because they know you are fighting.  If you have thrown in the towel then you aren't around those that would be there to help you through the day.  People that support individuals with chronic illnesses do it because they love you.  They see your fighting and are amazed that you give it your all.  Even when it is small things that happen they are there in your corner celebrating.

I have a phrase line that I use and those that know me can look in my eyes and tell if I am honest or faking it.  If asked how I am doing I always say fine.  Even when I cant put a sip of water on my nauseous tummy.  Even when standing is a victory in itself.  For those casual observers that want to know that I am fine they accept this little statement and keep going on with their life.  Yet, those that really know me look at me and usually say good try what is going on.  Even better some will say world spinning or let's not worry about eating today.  They have come to love me and through my eyes they can tell what is going on.  

So Giving up is not an option for me.  I do have days when throwing in the towel sounds like the best option in the world.  Then I stop and go I have had worse days then this.  I made it through that battle last week.  I was able to do something yesterday that I am shocked that I pulled off.  Heck what will people think if the Deacon says enough is enough.  I have learned that having faith gets me by when nothing else works.  See deep down inside I know that one day they will figure this out and no one will ever have to have these illnesses.  Maybe not in my lifetime.  Yet, I am willing to be a guinea pig so that others can get through it better than I have.  

So the next time you say today is the day I am giving up.  Stop, think about it a moment and remember the days that you did get through it.  Think about those that would mourn your loss if you through in the towel of defeat.  Most importantly take care of yourself and get through that day so tomorrow you can look back and say I did it.  The only way to survive being sick is trying your best to be positive.  Find something that you can grab hold of that will keep you sane and don't let it go.  As long as you have that one thing then you will know that fighting is worth the fight.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve. 

Small things Make a BIG difference when you Struggle Everyday

A quick picker upper.  There are multiple little tasks that you accomplish each day.  Those little accomplishments need to be what you focus on.  True it would be great if you could do the big things again.  Yet, when you are able to accomplish the smallest of tasks your heart can soar.

True Story and it concerns this blog.  I have been watching for a few weeks because I was getting close to a magic number.  One that would mean that I had done some good.  I started this thinking I might get a hit every once in a while.  It basically was my way of dealing with the struggles that I was going through.  I was shocked when in no time flat I had a hundred hits.  I thought there must be a few people that read this and hopefully they are getting the calmness that I am getting from writing it.

Just yesterday I hit another one of those milestones I went over a 1000 hits to the blog.  I can tell you right now that to me that made a great impact on me.  See I have days when all I want to do is lay in bed all day.  There are other days that I get so mad that I want to fight the whole world. Yet, knowing that someone might think things a little different the next time they are having one of those days keeps me going.

How about you?   I know if you are reading this your trying to find a positive spin on life.  I try my best to stay up beat because it is the only way to keep me in check.  See some days just getting out of bed is a major accomplishment and for that I say yeehaw.  Other days being able to write down my thoughts is a major accomplishment and for that I am grateful.  Other days going ten minutes without the world spinning means that I can enjoy something special.  Other days it is eating without getting extremely nauseous and for that I thank my body for being nice.

You don't have to climb Mount Everest.  You don't have to run a marathon.  All you need to do is find those little things that make a big difference in your life.  Yesterday it was getting a thousand hits.  Today it was getting to hold my little man Adam, pictured above.  He knows when I am in the middle of a great spin so he jumps on my lap and helps me through it so that I can continue on with life.  See we all have something special in our life.

When you start adding up all the small things that make you feel better today you can realize that you have done something big.  If that means waking up and making it to your front room. Snuggling with your precious children, for me the four legged kind.  If you are reading this you can add that to your I did something today for me list.  I encourage everyone to start looking around them and see just how many small things you get done in one day.

I would love for those that do it to share with the others that read.  Write a comment about how many things that you did in one day no matter how small that were major accomplishments.  I have got four so far today.

1. woke up
2. got out of bed
3. snuggled with Adam
4. wrote this blog

Not bad for a start of the day.  All of these small things will eventually add up to a day full of accomplishments.  Don't be surprised if your list is longer than you ever thought it would be.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve. 

Being Support for those that Support you

Hopefully, you are lucky like me and you have people that support you through the rough times.  Chronic illnesses not only effect you but everyone that loves and cares about you.  Just as your feel hopeless they too feel the same way.  when you are having a bad day they too are having one because they do not know how to help.  When you are stressed they see feel your anxiety it bleeds over to them and their level of stress rises.

Supporters need someone that they can talk to that isn't you.  That is the first and most important thing that you can do to help the people that are there for you. Do not try to be their everything they need others in their life just like you need them in your life.  Don't get mad if they want to spend time with a friend or family member while you are at home.  It does both of you good.  It allows you some independence and it gives them a chance to walk away from the situation and regroup.

Do not get mad if your supporter can do more things than you can.  We all go through struggles of getting mad because of loss of certain independence.  Yet, you cannot be mad if they can do things that you use to be able to do.  That is the beauty of having a supporter in the first place.  They will know when they can help you and when to let you do it yourself.  When you get mad because they can do something that you use to your are putting undo stress on them.  Be glad that they can help you when you need it.

Don't over burden your supporter.  Hard medicine to swallow isn't it.  If you think that they should be at your beck and call you will soon be disappointed.  They have a life also.  If there is something that you cannot do wait until they are free to ask for the support.  Wise woman told me once that I can only get help if I allow others the chance to do it.  Sum it up if you demand it then it isn't help it becomes work for the supporter and that is a heavy burden for them to bear.

Encourage them to do activities that they enjoy even if you cant do it with them.  See supporters need to know that it is okay for them to do the things that they love.  Don't make them feel guilty if they can run that race you use to do.  Climb the mountains that you use to.  Simply go to the store and carry the bags to the car without a cart.  See how easy it is to let them enjoy their own activities it lets them keep a sense of who they are.  Then when you need help it isn't a dread instead it is a pleasure because they are living as normal life as they can.

Be honest and don't push yourself to do things that will hurt you in the end.  Supporters need to know up front if you aren't going to be able to do something that you thought you would be able to do.  Don't make them feel like they pushed you into a situation you cannot handle.  It isn't fair to them.  Instead if you know that they want to do something that you cant do then just be up front and honest and say so.  But at the same time tell them to go ahead and do it.  Encourage them.  I have seen several people that do marathons because they are doing it for a love one that wished they could.  Just think how they feel especially if they are encouraged to do those things and with you on their mind you are getting to do it also.

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve.