The Difference Between Being Compassionate and Being Sorry

I mentioned in my blog yesterday that there are times when people hear you talk about your illness and they tell you they are sorry.  This is an emotional response they have because of their immediate reaction of hearing of your illness.  Many times they have never heard of such diseases and they are in shock.

People that are Sorry often times are feeling ashamed of themselves for the things that they were thinking before they knew you were sick.  They saw you stumbling or rushing to the restroom numerous times and they have made assumptions that you are drunk or purging.  So their guilt due to their ignorance rolls out of their tongue as if they are sorry you have the illness.

There are people that are generally sorry that you have the illness.  But are relieved that it is you not them and that has caused them to be sorry.  They also are relieved they had never heard of it before and are relieved their family members don't have it.  The angst in finding out that there is an illness that can effect someone that they never heard before is devastating to many.

We have all experienced that shocked look on someones face when you have to explain an illness that they never heard of before.  It might not be your own but a family members illnesses.  The person goes straight into a place of relief then remorse.  The remorse comes because they feel guilty for what they were thinking or the fact that they were glad they don't have it.  

Now that I have explained being Sorry it is time to understand being Compassionate.  Compassion is much more than an emotion compassion is a response that shows the individual you understand. That you are there for them that you are not going to let them go through this alone.  People who show you compassion are in it for the long haul.  They do not necessarily have to be your best friend or family member in the beginning.  But due to their interaction with you they will take on these positions.

Anyone can show compassion for others.  In fact, most people have someone that they show compassion to.  People choose who they want to stand by all the time.  They would give life and limb for that person and will defend them to the end.  They search for answers they hope for cures and they pray endlessly for them.

There are other people that are able to show compassion to numerous individuals at one time.  A good example of this would be Pastors or Deacons.  One of the reasons that they take on those roles is because the feeling of compassion swells from their heart.  It doesn't mean others can't be that way.

When you are lucky enough to find someone that shows compassion for you do not abuse them.  They also need to have compassion shown to them.  For there are often times that they attempt to take the weight of what is wrong with you on their own shoulders.  You must make sure that you give them the opportunity to allow that weight to slip off of their shoulder so that they can enjoy stress free times.  When you are able to return acts of compassion to the ones that show you compassion you grow.

I have a few people in my life that truly show me compassion.  They do not feel sorry for me and they push me to be my best.  They encourage me to do things that I would just not try to do.  Instead of feeling sorry for me they encourage me and have made me a better person.

My family and close friends are always there for me.  They may not see me everyday but they do something more important they always lift me up in prayer.  They know that I do the same thing for them.  They know how important are to me and they have actually become my biggest supporters.

So when you see the difference in these two groups of people it changes how you deal with individuals.  A big question that comes up is how do  I deal with people that only feel sorry for me. When you hear that random I am sorry from a stranger a lot of times I just walk away with a thank you and may God give you peace.  It cuts them loose and lets them deal with it on their own time.

For my friends it is a much different situation because they are dealing with the loss of a part of me that they haven't come to terms with.  To them I try to encourage them.  Let them know that we can get through this together.  That I am praying for them just like they are praying for me.  Turns out that is what they need.  Because they are really sorry for something that they wish they could change but can't.

Well,  hopefully this helps explain the difference.  I hope it also gives you comfort and encouragement.  There are people that really do care for you.  that you have the power on how you react to individuals.  So if someone is sorry make sure that you acknowledge it.  Because they may be coming to terms with a loss that they feel will separate them from something that could have been.

When you run across your supporters that give you the compassion you need. Make sure to give them your support for the causes they fight.  Because they need to know that you are there for them as much as they are there for you.

Well back to bed I go.  Been a very dizzy day...tomorrow will be a long one...but I am just glad I have compassionate people In my life that give me the strength I need to make it day by day...Night

For my fellow fighters keep on fighting and remember one day they will figure this out and we will have won.  Until then don't give up hope.  It is okay to rest on bad days,  but on the good days enjoy life to your fullest because you deserve it.    

There is so much more and remember this is something that I live with and am writing from my perspective.  Talk to a doctor if you feel you may have this or any other disease because without proper diagnosis you will never get the treatment you deserve.